Occasionally, of an evening, GG will watch a Youtube video. Latest have been a couple on the subject of Feng Shui: quick tips for your home. A little voice whispered in my ear (yeah, that was one of our house elves. Let me remind you that they know where everything is) told me she also has a book on the subject, up on a shelf in the closet in her study…. that room where she spends most of her mornings and where she’ll sometimes let me lie on her lap while she makes clicking noises with her fingers. Between me and the pull-out keyboard tray, well, things get a bit crowded. Sometimes I fall off.

But I digress. Somewhat.

GG claims she doesn’t really buy into Feng Shui. Not completely, anyhow.

I do. And I blame a certain object in our humble abode for the fact of what GG considers my increasing girth. I claim that’s not happening. It’s Complete Nonsense. Simply my extra-furry winter coat —and no, I’m not going to be like the Queen of England or even the Duchess of Cambridge and refuse to wear fur in future. I mean, who wants to be a bare-naked cat??? Not me. Although I believe some breeds have a very short, thin covering. I suppose they look sleek. Huh! Everyone tells me I’m very beautiful and I'm purrfectly willing to take that, thank you.

Where is this rambling communication heading? you ask. Well folks, I can inform you that my increasing avoirdupoids* (if it exists) is all GG/s fault. Here’s the reason why. 

Yes, this object, which sits on the bathroom counter for some unknown reason, is the root cause. Nothing at all to do with my eating too much kibble. And whose call is that anyway? Although, I must confess, I can maiow so pathetically and insistently that GG gives in. With a sigh, she pats my head and reaches for my favourite rattly packet. 
So weak willed, these humans.
Okay folks, that’s it till next time. I’m off to stir up the stale ‘chi’ by tossing my toys in the air or skittering around after my plastic half golf balls. I’ll show you those one of these fine days, but meanwhile, don’t hold your breath. 

*Avoirdupoids: nothing to do with avoirdupois, which would mean, having some peas. Although, for humans (as I believe) eating too much of these will have a bad effect on their girth. Be warned!